If you are a youth questioning your gender identity, you are not
alone. There are many more like you than most people realize.
There are other teens that feel the same way that you do. Your
best source of information is the internet, or your local gay and
lesbian center.

You can succeed and become who you need to be. It is not easy or
cheap. You are very fortunate if you have a supportive family. I
would suggest that you make at least one attempt to let your
family know. I would have been able to start helping my child so
much sooner if she would have told me sooner. Leave a book or
pamphlet laying around by accident that addresses gender issues.
Talk about a "friend" wanting to be a different gender than they
appear or bring up the subject with your mother. If she freaks,
then back off. Tell her you were just kidding, or under stress or
going crazy. Then suggest that maybe you need counseling and see
what happens.

At all costs, try not to get kicked out of the house. Stay in
school, you are going to need a really good job to pay the bills
involved in becoming comfortable with your gender. You can do it
by yourself, but it takes longer and you may have to put it off
until you can support yourself.

There is family you are born with and family you gather as you go
along. If your family cannot accept You, don't drag them along
behind you for years. It is a great weight on your karma. Take
care of' yourself, find accepting friends, adopt other people who
need family and then maybe someday your family will catch up with
you.

You have the right to be the gender that you feel you are inside.
You are not hurting anyone else, they are hurting themselves. You
are not sinning, you are not crazy. You are not a second class
citizen. You deserve the best, and if no one else will help you
then do it for yourself.

Your sexual orientation is completely separate from your gender
identity. Labels don't always work. You can feel attracted to
men, or women, or both or neither. Who you are attracted to can
change as you figure out who you are. Its OK. There is nothing
wrong with you. Accept other people for who they are regardless
of gender.

Your transition is your trip at your speed. There are some
minimum times prescribed by the Henry Benjamin standards. But if
it takes you 2 years to start hormones, or you stay in the
androgynous stage for months, its OK. This is your trip and there
are no maps.

Keep living. Don't put life off until you can have surgery. Enjoy
the humor in life. Enjoy every day as another day in becoming
you.