This is Page 5
I will keep adding as long as you write about it.
From: n b
Subject: High school
High school... Well, it didn't start in high school, as I left in my sixth grade year. Upon entering school, I realized I was in for hella fun! No one like me and I didn't like them. I was in private school for two years (K-
I went to public school from 2nd to 6th. In 2nd grade I came across the label "Tomboy" so I was a "tomboy" for many years until I found out what an FTM was. That made more sense... I remember being tormented mercilessly by boys and girls alike. The boys used to make lewd comments to me and the girls ostracized me completely. I withdrew into books to escape my reality. I read all the time, always fantasizing I was the male lead in all the novels.
One day I was called into the office and drilled for an hour about how I needed to be more "social" and less of a bookworm. They wouldn't let me read during lunch, even though I wasn't the one doing the ignoring. I cried all day when they took my book away.
Fifth grade year was all tears, from what I remember. Incidents in the bathroom made it difficult for me to get along. I had my hair cut short in fourth grade
As a 32 year old and being 10 years past SRS your page got me thinking. Then I figured why not shoot you an email? So here it goes..
At the Junior High level (i.e. 12 or 13) were you singled out as "different"?
Yes, there was always this big mean guy next to me in PE (my favorite subject . NOT!) in Junior High who berated me constantly: .fag. .transvestite.. Everyday was a living hell. I always was scared sh*tless. I wondered .how did he know?. Since I tried so hard to repress it. For the most part I ignored him, but occasionally I.d work up a svelte .f*ck off. to him. Which just made it worse.
He was the worst I dealt with. I escaped the living hell many describe. I wasn.t hugely effeminate or masculine. I was just me. Not macho, but just me. Being a skater and a punk with the whole attitude to boot saved me lots of grief. Being 5. 6. and having an androgynous body build really helped me.
In junior high I also had tons of girlfriends. I.d hang out with all the time. It was really cool. One or two in a moment of deep discussion I let it slip where I was at in my life. One was like .that.s sick. and the other, well just shrugged it off. I know they were looking at me as a .guy. but I was just into hanging out. As we got into High School, they got boyfriends and focused there. Where I just retreated into a shell of survival.
Going back further than that. People knew I had problems, especially once puberty started. This .vibe. a few people have mentioned. It was there. People that knew me knew something was up. They just couldn.t put a finger on it. I knew it too, hence my internal emotional mess. I was just too buried emotionally to deal with it. I remember seeing a Donahue episode about TS.s and was glued to it. I knew my path and seeing it on Television brought it to the front.
I was also at every convenience swiping my sister.s clothes or playing with make up while no one was home.
Its so cool people today have the internet for resources and information. It.s all out there at the touch of your fingers. In the early 1990s it was a bit of a different story.
Into High School things were mostly cool. After 10th Grade I only spent two hours a day at my High School (Radio/TV votech courses I spent the rest of the day in). So I didn.t get to hang much with the folks there nor did I try to socialize. It gave me an excuse out. Like many of us, I dated to shut people up. It was all about the front. Keeping the mask on so people didn.t prod. After I said no more and the one month relationship ended. I tried another one later foolishly to the same result. I swore after that the mask would be done for very soon. In one case the poor girl basically jumped me, and I said no. I shiver at that last thought. It was soooooooo akward.
I spent the rest of my High School years buried in the vocational Radio Station I was part of. I lost the punk and skateboarding attitude and focused on radio. The people I attended those courses with also knew something was up as I had so many walls. I didn.t talk about me, it was radio, radio, radio. It was my solace from my internal issues. After High School was over, and the involvement with the station everything came to a head. and quickly!
Hormones 4 months later then SRS a little less than 4 years later.
Subject: HighSchool -
To be singled out is to let it bother you, I think. When the other kids started to get around to singling me out, around 2nd grade (right about the time I befriended another singled-
That's probably because they didn't have much of a chance to notice. As soon as I found out that I was letting such things slip, and knowing that it wasn't normal, even for someone such as myself, I brought up masks. This was around middle school (strangely enough, just before I met another one of my close friends). They served me well, and only grew more convincing over the years. It's now my Junior year of High School, and I'm only now beginning to let them drop,
scant weeks after I found out that I have gender dysphoria. I had the feeling for years, but I never really understood it...i'm only now preparing to tell my parents...but anyways...
But, I guess in summary, I was singled out early, and I only reacted by bringing up a good defense before anything really horrible started...I'm not sure how much this helps, but if it does at all,
then I'm happy. ^^
Subject: High School
I have always gone to school in a small town. I'm rather lucky, in that I've never been beaten or seriously ridiculed for being different. Maybe because I've always had muscles. Maybe because I have a lot of friends who would help me if I needed them. Maybe it's because I've been nice to people, and they have no reason to hate me. I've been allowed to do things the other boys do without much hassle. I played football for a year in middle school and a year in high school.
I got a boy's part in the play and dressed with the other boys in the boys' dressing room. I've never lost a friend due to my birth defect. Teachers and students are good about using my new name. I'm a sophomore. As for the rest of high school, I'll take it as it comes.
Things are looking up.
Hi, I see I was not alone. Born in 1957. Not a good time to be a transgender person. I started at age 3yrs and by the time I got to 1st grade all I wanted was to be a girl.
I suffered terribly. I was like a sick chicken and all the other chickens wanted to peek me to death to get rid of the disease.
I was very tall since 6th grade. I was picked on, beat up, chased, outcast. All thru middle school and high school I was tormented. I hung out with the girls who saw me as harmless and one of them. The boys didn't like this because they thought I was trying to steal their dates.
I took Accounting and typing and art to avoid them. Never liked changing in the locker room because they would steal my clothes and torture me in the showers (wet towels really do sting). I was never picked for sports. I always dreamed of being a cheerleader.
To this day I still get tingles when thinking about it. I dated one girl in high school and that wasn't till I was a senior. I couldn't wait to get out of there. And when I hit the real world I wish I was back in school for it was less pain.
I thought about going to my 25 yr reunion dressed as myself and let them all suffer, but knowing most of them they probably never grew up and are still a pain in the butt. I will always be a true Homecoming Queen,
Like many that have already shared, my high school experience was a mixed bag. I knew of my gender conflict at an early age and basically suppressed it throughout my childhood and adolescence. The only truly difficult time was during Jr. High when puberty set in.
Once over the hump, growing up post-
Less than two years after high school, I joined the Army and became an Airborne Ranger. I realized later on that I would go to great lengths to prove to everyone, including myself, that I was masculine. This masculine mask eventually started to peel away a few years after my three-
Many years and one marriage later, I came to that figurative brick wall and transitioned to female. My life is so much more satisfying now as I now can be who I have always felt that I should have been from the beginning.
Looking back on those high school years, I wish I could have transitioned back then but emphatically know that my life would have been impossible to live during those times. What's bringing many of my memories to the forefront is the fact that my high school class is having a joint class reunion with two other classes next weekend and I have been agonizing over my decision to attend or not.
I finally decided not to attend. I live several states away from where I grew up and very few people know about my transition. For me, it would be a huge pill to swallow to witness the reactions of my former classmates when they observe me as a person who has gone from a football jock in high school to a business woman today. Call me 'chicken!'