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Melissa's Mom

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Melissa's Letter to her parents

Dear Aunt Jen,
 I am personally offering my letter to my parents.  I am 13 and in eighth grade, and have not actually showed this to my parents, but I have been working on it.  Feel free to use it on your site. (grr I hate my email address)

Here is my letter:

Dear Reader,

   I know I have taken a long time to complete homework in the past and was always secluded in my room.  Also, you may know that in the past, I did not have many friends.  Also, I have been made fun of because I didn't "fit in".  Well in this letter, I will make sense of all of that.

This is probably the hardest thing for me to do in my life, so please read the full contents.  And I am deeply sorry for any pain this causes you.

Enough bouncing around, if you have seen anything on  T.V. about gender dysphoria, you will know what I am talking about.  While in the womb, a fetus is introduced to hormones that determine the gender/sex of the baby.  Well, sometimes a problem occurs causing  a difference between the sex hormones and gender (mental) hormones causing a condition known as gender identity disorder (this is in no way the mother's fault, it just happens to occur within her).  From the ages of 3-12 the person will recognize that they have the condition known commonly as transsexuality.  

It is important to recognize that transsexuality and homosexuality are completely different concepts and conditions that are commonly confused. Transsexuals could prefer men, women, both, or neither.  But, homosexuals prefer only the people of the same gender.  It is important to realize the transsexuals were never of the physical sex that they were assigned, they have just been dealing with living that way.

Ever since early grade school, I have always felt as a girl and have suppressed my feelings.  I have always hade a strange need to wear "girl" clothes and it felt natural to me.  

As for me, I have not had many friends in the past because the girls that I preferred to be friends with disapproved of it, and I never really fit in with the guys.  I was made fun of because I always acted somewhat feminine even though I tried my best to be masculine.  And I am always up late doing homework because I try real hard to get a good job so that I can afford the transition from male to female and, I am on websites that offer support to the transgendered because it is so hard to get through the day.  

Test results to prove (COGIATI is the most accurate):


Your COGIATI result value is: 415 Which means that you fall within the following category:
What this means is that the Combined Gender Identity And Transsexuality Inventory has classified your internal gender identity to be female. According to COGIATI, your mind and gender identity is that of a woman.
You essentially fit the the model of the classic transsexual, and you should not ignore your gender issues, they will only become more severe.
You definitely need to seek treatment.


Your situation is serious and highly indicative of an inborn gender conflict. It is strongly recommended that you pursue further action.

The suggestions for your circumstance are important.

1. It is recommended that you seek help from a sympathetic counselor or professional about your gender issues. Over time they will become increasingly difficult to cope with. Early confirmation and diagnosis of your transsexuality is vital. The sooner you seriously seek help, the more likely you are to not only survive, but to be happy as well.  

2. Some actions may help you to define your condition to yourself more clearly. Experimenting with living full time as a woman, taking hormones for a short time under supervision, or taking testosterone suppressers to observe how you feel are all viable options. Keep in mind that while it is extremely likely that you are a transsexual, it is not certain. Do not take severe or permanent actions without careful thought and the help of counselors and professionals.  

3. Your gender issues are real, and should not be ignored! Neither should you rush into acting on them, however powerful they may feel. Transition to  a body with a female sex may be your salvation, but it is imperative that you be absolutely sure of what your really want. Act IMMEDIATELY to pursue solving your gender dysphoria. Seek professional assistance IMMEDIATELY.  

4. If you have not already, consider joining any of the thousands of groups devoted to gender expression of various kinds. There is literally a world of friends to discover who share your interests. There are also publications, vacations, and activities that would expand your gender expression.
5. You have my wishes for your happiness, my sister. Good luck.
S.A.G.E. Test Results
Your Raw Score is: 860, which indicates that overall you are Feminine

Your appearance is Androgynous

Your brain processes are mostly that of a Female person.

You appear to socialize in a very feminine manner.

You believe you have serious conflicts about your gender identity.

You indicated your were born Male.

Male to Female Transsexual, either post-operative or in transition

Your Answers indicate your psychological state has likely prevailed since you were quite young.
Moir-Jessel Brain Sex Test

Because the Moir-Jessel Brain Sex Test is biased in favor of your birth sex, your score will differ depending on your sex.
If you are Male...
Your score is 85

 If you are Female...
Your score is 120


Feminine Male
You score significantly more feminine than the average male. Male scores above 60 may show a brain sex bias to the female.   Extremely Female
You score significantly more feminine than even the average female. A score above 100 points to a very differently wired brain than that of the opposite sex . . . yet differences also attract.  

However, all such differences are average differences. A male might score above 60 and still possess a male brain. A female might score below 50 and still possess a female brain. There are deeper differences than can show up in such a simple test.
This test was taken from the book Brain Sex by Anne Moir, Ph.D. and David Jessel.
    I have always (since as far back as I can remember) felt need to be female  (notice that I NEED to be female, this is not a want).  So, you have never known the real me, only a covered up version, trying to live as a boy.  And, being a boy is miserable and painful.  I always hate even seeing myself in the mirror because I dont see what I am inside.  There is no need for feeling emotional in a negative way because this what I want for my life and there is no changing it.  There is only one thing that you can do, help and support my transition.  And, that is all I ask of you.  
     I have been wanting to see a "shrink" so that I can start on female hormones, live full time as a girl, and eventually Sex Reassignment Surgery.  This is my goal to be able to live life as a female.  I NEED to make this transition for my well being and my mental sanity.  There is no way in the world to change my feelings inside, and they will only get worse as the years go on. I will only be different in appearance and mannerisms, but will retain the same personality and will be the true me.
    If you do wish to see any resources, I would be happy to show them to you (Especially a downloadable book, Mom I Need To Be a Girl)
    Please do not tell me about you seeing this without you being fully able to discuss, and I will answer any questions as I can.
                                                           Your Daughter,
[yes I that is the name I picked out]

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