Melissa's
Letter to her parents
Dear Aunt
Jen,
I am personally offering my letter to my parents.
I am 13 and in eighth grade, and have not actually showed this to my
parents, but I have been working on it. Feel free to use it
on your site. (grr I hate my email address)
Here is my letter:
Dear Reader,
I know I have taken a long time to
complete homework in the past and was always secluded in my
room. Also, you may know that in the past, I did not have
many friends. Also, I have been made fun of because I didn't
"fit in". Well in this letter, I will make sense of all of
that.
This is probably the hardest thing for me to do in my life, so please
read the full contents. And I am deeply sorry for any pain
this causes you.
Enough bouncing around, if you have seen anything on T.V.
about gender dysphoria, you will know what I am talking
about. While in the womb, a fetus is introduced to hormones
that determine the gender/sex of the baby. Well, sometimes a
problem occurs causing a difference between the sex hormones
and gender (mental) hormones causing a condition known as gender
identity disorder (this is in no way the mother's fault, it just
happens to occur within her). From the ages of 3-12 the
person will recognize that they have the condition known commonly as
transsexuality.
It is important to recognize that transsexuality and homosexuality are
completely different concepts and conditions that are commonly
confused. Transsexuals could prefer men, women, both, or
neither. But, homosexuals prefer only the people of the same
gender. It is important to realize the transsexuals were
never of the physical sex that they were assigned, they have just been
dealing with living that way.
Ever since early grade school, I have always felt as a girl and have
suppressed my feelings. I have always hade a strange need to
wear "girl" clothes and it felt natural to me.
As for me, I have not had many friends in the past because the girls
that I preferred to be friends with disapproved of it, and I never
really fit in with the guys. I was made fun of because I
always acted somewhat feminine even though I tried my best to be
masculine. And I am always up late doing homework because I
try real hard to get a good job so that I can afford the transition
from male to female and, I am on websites that offer support to the
transgendered because it is so hard to get through the day.
Test results to prove (COGIATI is the most accurate):
The COMBINED GENDER IDENTITY AND TRANSSEXUALITY INVENTORY ( COGIATI )
RESULTS
Your COGIATI result value is: 415 Which means that you fall within the
following category:
COGIATI classification FIVE, TRANSSEXUAL
What this means is that the Combined Gender Identity And Transsexuality
Inventory has classified your internal gender identity to be female.
According to COGIATI, your mind and gender identity is that of a woman.
You essentially fit the the model of the classic transsexual, and you
should not ignore your gender issues, they will only become more
severe.
You definitely need to seek treatment.
SUGGESTIONS FOR ACTION:
Your situation is serious and highly indicative of an inborn gender
conflict. It is strongly recommended that you pursue further action.
The suggestions for your circumstance are important.
1. It is recommended that you seek help from a sympathetic counselor or
professional about your gender issues. Over time they will become
increasingly difficult to cope with. Early confirmation and diagnosis
of your transsexuality is vital. The sooner you seriously seek help,
the more likely you are to not only survive, but to be happy as
well.
2. Some actions may help you to define your condition to yourself more
clearly. Experimenting with living full time as a woman, taking
hormones for a short time under supervision, or taking testosterone
suppressers to observe how you feel are all viable options. Keep in
mind that while it is extremely likely that you are a transsexual, it
is not certain. Do not take severe or permanent actions without careful
thought and the help of counselors and professionals.
3. Your gender issues are real, and should not be ignored! Neither
should you rush into acting on them, however powerful they may feel.
Transition to a body with a female sex may be your salvation,
but it is imperative that you be absolutely sure of what your really
want. Act IMMEDIATELY to pursue solving your gender dysphoria. Seek
professional assistance IMMEDIATELY.
4. If you have not already, consider joining any of the thousands of
groups devoted to gender expression of various kinds. There is
literally a world of friends to discover who share your interests.
There are also publications, vacations, and activities that would
expand your gender expression.
5. You have my wishes for your happiness, my sister. Good luck.
S.A.G.E. Test Results
Your Raw Score is: 860, which indicates that overall you are Feminine
Your appearance is Androgynous
Your brain processes are mostly that of a Female person.
You appear to socialize in a very feminine manner.
You believe you have serious conflicts about your gender identity.
You indicated your were born Male.
ANALYSIS:
Male to Female Transsexual, either post-operative or in transition
NOTES:
Your Answers indicate your psychological state has likely prevailed
since you were quite young.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
The
Moir-Jessel Brain Sex Test
RESULTS
Because the Moir-Jessel Brain Sex Test is biased in favor of your birth
sex, your score will differ depending on your sex.
If you are Male...
Your score is 85
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you are Female...
Your score is 120
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Feminine Male
You score significantly more feminine than the average male. Male
scores above 60 may show a brain sex bias to the
female. Extremely Female
You score significantly more feminine than even the average female. A
score above 100 points to a very differently wired brain than that of
the opposite sex . . . yet differences also attract.
However, all such differences are average differences. A male might
score above 60 and still possess a male brain. A female might score
below 50 and still possess a female brain. There are deeper differences
than can show up in such a simple test.
This test was taken from the book Brain Sex by Anne Moir, Ph.D. and
David Jessel.
I have always (since as far
back as I can remember) felt need to be female (notice that I
NEED to be female, this is not a want). So, you have never
known the real me, only a covered up version, trying to live as a
boy. And, being a boy is miserable and painful. I
always hate even seeing myself in the mirror because I dont see what I
am inside. There is no need for feeling emotional in a
negative way because this what I want for my life and there is no
changing it. There is only one thing that you can do, help
and support my transition. And, that is all I ask of
you.
I have been wanting
to see a "shrink" so that I can start on female hormones, live full
time as a girl, and eventually Sex Reassignment Surgery. This
is my goal to be able to live life as a female. I NEED to
make this transition for my well being and my mental sanity.
There is no way in the world to change my feelings inside, and they
will only get worse as the years go on. I will only be different in
appearance and mannerisms, but will retain the same personality and
will be the true me.
If you do wish to see any
resources, I would be happy to show them to you (Especially a
downloadable book, Mom I Need To Be a Girl)
Please do not tell me about
you seeing this without you being fully able to discuss, and I will
answer any questions as I can.
REMEMBER THAT THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!
Your Daughter,
Melissa
[yes I that is the name I picked out]
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